KERANA PADA AKHIRNYA AKU HARUS PERGI

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.


Once again in my life time, I am being tested by a guy whom I seek for the loyalty but I failed. There is nothing much I could say this time. But, it surely kills me. I SERIOUSLY don't know what should I feel and think. I just want to run and run and run.... from this fake!

Entah lah....
I wonder why Allah always send me a flirt guy for everytime I fall in love.
 And I wonder why it was not me in the first place in his heart...
Well, I should realize then that I am always being the choices not the priority one. :)


Haih!
Lepas satu, satu jadi kan Hannan...? Bila entah nak ada orang yang sebetulnya jadi cinta paling sejati ni... Mereput dulu agaknya... hahaha (^_^)

It was soooo sad and dissapointed actually. While you have given your believeness to someone but he broke it. Tapi tak pe lah...mungkin bukan jodoh lagi.Mungkin selama ni Allah hantar orang tu untuk aku jaga jodoh orang lain dulu before aku dapat jodoh sendiri.





I wish I can end up our 2 years relationship in peace and harmony. Aku pun malas dah nak fikir. Tak tau kenapa kali ni hati jadi makin keras. Mungkin Hannan yang hatinya lembut selama ni, yang senang diberi alasan itu ini dan terimaaa je alasan tu, dah pergi jauh.

Mungkin jugak Hannan yang sekarang sama penatnya dgn orang tu yang turut fed up dengan kita. ;)
In shaa Allah, he deserves someone better than me. Much better,perhaps! :D


Kalau  dia doakan yang buruk-buruk buat aku pun, siapa lagi aku untuk halang kan? Untuk rayu? Because I'm not the first at the really first pun dari dulu sampai sekarang pun...Asyik kena tipu je manjang ada laa....hahahahahahaha
*Bravo Hannan!*  :p

Since tak dapat tidur ni, tetibe teingat lagu "Sudah Ku Tahu"... Duk ulang je dengar sambil pelan-pelan tunggu mata lelap..sedas jugak kena dengan lagu ni.
(sambil meleleh air mata)

Buat yang terakhir, moganya ada sinar menanti di sana. Moganya seorang Nur Hannan binti Che Soh terus kuat dan tabah dalam menjalani hidup. Moganya diri dapat insan yang benar-benar ikhlas menyayangi hingga ke akhirnya. <3

(p/s : Wish me luck for my first job interview this Tuesday! xoxo! )


With super duper muchie love,
Yourself!

HANNAN IN HER DOWN WORLD

Assalamualaikum.

Dear my love blog,
I know that there's nowhere that I can write and tell all my feelings right now. Well, I know that I still have my parents to be shared with but.....

I don't think that my Ummi will listen to what I wanted to tell to very much!

Baba? Well, he's the best listener for me ever but.... I dont know why I just cant tell him what is my feeling right now. What is burden me somehow. Because...I dont want him to get upset with me anymore. He is, indeed, too much gave his all full support for me.

I felt like I already made him so upset because of me. Because of this subject!

Ya Allah.
I seriously dont know what's going on with me.
I dont have any courage to continue this battle. I dont have any spirit to face it!

I miss my friends. I need my friends. I miss all the old days we're together, fighting with all those engineering subjects and helping each other to earn the lab results.

Happy with the excellent result after 2 months of trials!

Emon and Ika while we're surviving to get the results

I was so dumb, DO I?
For being a repeat student for this subject. Alas, it is already my FINAL SEMESTER! While everyone is now happy counting days for our graduation soon with the jobs and me? Still facing that tough subject alone?

Oh My! :(

I seriously dont have courage. I seriously fed up.
For after too much effort you had put for that semester just for that subject..and...you end up fail?

And...currently right now...I have to face this one alone. without anyone knows. Without my friends.
Only my family who is far away...and him.
He might come tomorrow from Malacca just to help me. And for that, I really really hope that we can settle down my Lab 1 by tomorrow or the day after tomorrow in order to hand in the report to my lecturer before this Raya.

Ya Allah
I dont have courage for this test. I just hope that everything gonna be alright soon.
Give me strength!

TERPAKSA JUA KU UNDUR DIRI

Bismillahhirrahmanirrahim.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Alhamdulillah, yesterday was a great and good day for me myself with the happy and really sad moments. I thanked those people that had been sending to me from Allah.

Setiap yang datang dalam hidup kita,pasti ada sebabnya dan pengajarannya,can't say much.

Dan mungkin juga Allah hantar seseorang untuk memberitahu kita sesuatu yang kita buta untuk melihat kerana segunung kepercayaan pada orang sekeliling kita? Perhaps!

Frankly speaking,it's actually hurt me..tapi, apakan daya aku.And to think twice,I should leave from this.Tak semua orang yang kau sayang kau akan dapat jiwa,hati dan rohnya.Chill beb!Soal hati dan perasaan mana boleh paksa! Luls.

After all,I really appreciate them for coming into my life. Thanks for the very kind and warm treatment for everytime we met,Pak Cik,Mak Cik,Mummy,Daddy and Opah.Huge Appologise from me.

Well, Hannan darlings! Life must be go on and on and on...

Moganya,setelah hampir 2 tahun dalam penipuan akan mengajarkan kau lebih kuat untuk meneruskan hidup yang tersisa dengan ragam manusia yang masih banyak.

You gotta be a strong woman,Nur Hannan Che Soh!!! I love you! ;)

14 February 2016.

A day of a new life started,May Allah ease the way. In shaa Allah. :) 

I AM NOBODY

Today,
I just came out my mind to write everything in this blog. Because I tried to find a friend to lean on. But I failed!

I am so tired of crying all alone in this room. I don't know why.

Pagi tadi, I just finished with my first paper final exam which is Clinical And Industrial Environment at 10.30 a.m. I tell to myself that I have to start doing my thesis of my Final Year Project since I have to submit it by 8th February soon.

However, I failed to do so. How many times I tried. I tried to ignore my feeling. I tried to ignore what I am currently feel. End up, I failed! I failed!

It is being more than two weeks since I got myself into that  terrible accident. And when it comes to my transport to the campus or to everywhere, i feel so down. It is so sad when that accident comes into my mind as I will always ask myself,"why should the accident happen to me?"

Yes, I know that I cannot ask such that question. It gonna be myself something lack of iman. But.... I just a human. I can't be everytime high motivated person. At some point when there is nobody there that willingly to help you, you will eventually feel down.

Ya Allah,
I know that I have so much wrongs to you. I shouldn't say that kind of thing. And Baba always scolded me of having that kind of "why", "kalaulah", "sepatutnya"..... But, how can erh? nobdy will understand you. What the life put you.

I tried to tell to my Ummi and Baba. What I felt and what I am currently face. I did tell to Ummi in "kiasan". And none of the texts got relied. So sad me!

Tonight, I called him. I just want him to comfort me. I just want him to listen to me. To my cries. But, I kow that I am not that so important. Super sad me! ha!ha!

I MISS MY MYVI A LOT! AND I DO NEED IT NOW!

The only one picture of my Myvi

I need you, my dear DBB 6616! <3

(p/s : So glad that I survived from the accident. Alhamdulillah. )

VOLUNTEERISM : PLAY & PRAY

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Alhamdulillah, I am really honor to share my activities on PLAY & PRAY event for this post.

Get to know this event from a junior of mine, Najihah Ishak. At first, I am a little bit lazy to go actually because...well, yeah...rasa mahu bermalas-malasan di rumah dengan weekend yang panjang dari Jumaat hingga Isnin. hiks!

But, to think twice, I think that it is better for me to spend my weekend time for something that would benefit me..for at least, I won't be alone and lonely..and for sure, it can help me to forget that kind of crazy stuff bla bla bla.

So, I was given a task in Explorace Preparation. At first, I was thinking that it gonna be easy..ye lah, setakat nak kena create few of the games for the six checkpoints and prepare the goods for explorace kan? Senang je tu. kiki
Tapi biasalah, it won't be as that easy when it comes to a kind of handling the games with the very smart and hyperactive kids whom basically using English as their first languange in home. Siap ada yang dengar pelat masa they are all speaking Malay..huhu

I was thinking that this explorace session would be great if I have the suitable time session like two hours or maybe at least 1 hour..The rainy evening is actually killed the kids time to finish this explorace...huhu...

Not to forget to share,in this PLAY & PRAY, I also got a chance to try the archery as well..tapi, right after all the kids play lah kan...? coz we volunteers do not pay the camp fee like the kids..hehe..It was a really really best experience in my life to play/do one of our Prophet Muhammad S.A.W sunnah.

After all, it was a very great experience to get invloved in this programme as I can be able to learn many things from the rest of the volunteers and the very fluently English Malay kids too.

Till we meet again, everyone! Sorry for cannot join the next Play & Pray on this upcoming 31 October!

with Love,
NHCS.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, 18 September!

Hey, YOU!

I won't text you just to wish a "Happy Birthday" just like what you did to me few days ago. 

*eyes moving down and crying*

Well, seriously, Selamat Hari Lahir, Happy Bornday, semoga panjang umur,  dimurahkan rezeki, dipermudahkan segala urusan, moga menjadi anak sulung yang soleh dan semoga diberikan kesihatan yang baik.

I believe that you will always be in Allah's care. Take care!

Not to forget,

Semoga bahagia.

(p/s:  today, what i can just do is....cry.. if you know that how i miss you so badly! but,you didn't)

CRYING OFF MY FACE,AGAIN!